‘I’m Not a Wife Material, Amadioha Did not Make me Rich to Cook for my Husband’- Lady Smokes off
All of the pictures I’ve seen on social media depicting wife material are of women cooking alone, doing all of the cleaning and doing their “womanly duties.” Don’t get me wrong, there are two different roles in relationships that one partner will be better at than the other. Me, proudly smoking shisha and not afraid to post it on a platform as big as Facebook, shows that I am not a wife material, I hate that word, with reckless abandon. Girls are forming and pretending, not being themselves, all to be termed a wife material and land a husband living their lives just to please the society and painfully, publicly stand on a morality higher ground, while doing terrible things in secret. The only way I survive on earth is being myself and not what society wants me to be, na only me waka come.
And yes, the shisha pot belongs to me.
No, I am not married and no, I am not a feminist, but I’m a firm believer that relationships are a team effort. To make a relationship work, responsibilities of the household must be shared. I’m all for cooking and burning down the house together. This is the 21st century and there are so many more opportunities for men and women than there have been in the past.
I don’t have unrealistic expectations for a husband to be “hubby material,” and I don’t want someone to have unrealistic expectations of me to be “wife material.” I know that people have their faults and it’s hard to live with someone no matter how much you love them. I don’t expect my future spouse to have to pay for everything we have just like I hope he doesn’t expect me to cater to his every need.
Who makes these rules anyway? These rules for what is wife or husband material and what is not? I’m not even “feminizing” here, just wondering why we tend to subscribe to the notion that a certain set of qualities are desirable for marriage. That a girl doing shisha is wayward, an ashawo and a disgrace to womanhood, therefore, will never get married. There’s a statement my mother says “as our faces are different, so also are our needs different”. What Mr Okoli requires in a wife may be completely different from what Mr Okonkwo wants and for Miss Angie and Miss Doris, their list of requirements will also differ by a sharp margin.
Dear future husband,
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